‘Great Expectations’ Social constructionism is a social and political concept referred to as constructing a reality based on values, morals, culture, perspectives, …
Authentic Connections
Growing up in a small town has always allowed me to keep people in my life for long periods of time. knowing who they are and what they do. The comfort of going to places around town and finding people you know. But I realized that most of them had an image of me that they grew up with and I had an image of them. We never took our personalities for what they were in that moment, we took them for who we knew them to be from the past. The interactions lacked authenticity. No matter how much I evolved, my friends and family always saw me for the same kid and treated me accordingly. I felt warmth but frustrated and couldn’t understand why they don’t see the ‘current’ me.
Photo by Clarke Sanders on Unsplash
I also noticed this affected my ability to connect with people on a deeper level, Because I felt I should act the same way for a smoother interaction.
As they say you are the five closest people you surround yourself with. Sometimes people we consider our closest are unable to see us evolve and that is where you begin to resort to old habits, old traits and old impulses because that is what fits in that environment. When we have grown up with someone, they only see you to the extent that their own situation and growth allows them to see. As a stranger we see people as they are in that moment. The present is always more authentic than the past and the future. When you interact with someone that you don’t know, you also don’t know their history, their past and their mistakes, you can only take them for what they are in that moment. Allowing that person to have a fresh face and allowing them to be their true self. Sometimes, people you’ve grown up with do not permit a fresh face. They discourage your authentic self. Having life-long friends and family is important, it can be a huge support system for depression and anxiety as well – but not necessarily useful when you are growing or trying to connect on a deeper level.
If you feel disconnected to yourself in your regular environment, I encourage you to find a new environment. Building new relationships is key to seeing change in yourself. As humans, an emotional connection is what we thrive on and deeper connections are more authentic. But you need to feel like yourself to have that. Building more authentic connections gives you metaphorical permission to be yourself. Making authentic connections is also a form of showing love to yourself. Building with people that want to be a part of your current life, that want to cherish your characteristics and vice versa, is a form of self-love.
I learned so much about myself when I befriended people that were not in my immediate circle, I learned that I have a lot in common with people who love books, art, different cultures and people who like to debate about political conspiracies. I also felt understood by those that experienced life outside the box rather than the box I was in. It took me away from being the person I was perceived as and living in designed parameters. I was in sync with me for the first time in many years. These people were not my family or long-time friends. They were people I only knew for a short time. The beauty in finding family in strangers, is that they see you for who you are rather than what they feel comfortable about you or know from the past. They allow you to be more authentic with them and yourself. Or at the least allowing you to be who you want to be even for a moment. This may even give you perspective on who you truly are.
After my many attempts at love, I have realized you have to shamelessly and profoundly love yourself first. You need to know yourself to an extent and be willing to accept and find more through others. Set boundaries with people who misunderstand you or continue to believe you are the same person you always were. That is a reflection of their own growth and it is their responsibility to disintegrate and discover. Give yourself a chance to find home in new people and new places.
Education is the most important part of human life - what you learn is who you are, but since everyone learns the same lessons in school, we actually decrease our individuality as we go through it.